Why a Trip to the Park is basically a 90's Rave.

It’s Friday morning. You’re listening to George Bowie on the school run, waiting for the 5K Minute, and thinking about the weekend.

If you grew up in Glasgow in the 90s like me, you remember the rave scene. The music, the energy, the absolute chaos.

But if you head up to Strathclyde Park, Hogganfield Loch, Drumpellier or any other park in or around Glasgow this weekend, you’ll realise: It’s the exact same dynamic.

When I’m teaching classes, I often tell owners to imagine a busy park as a nightclub dance floor. Not everyone is there for the same reason. Understanding who your dog is on that dance floor is the key to keeping them safe and happy.

So, turn up the volume (mentally), and let's meet the clubbers.

1. The Happy Hardcore Raver (The Adolescent)

The Vibe: Moving at 170 BPM. Think Ultra-Sonic. The Dog Behaviour: This is usually the adolescent dog (6-18 months) you see zooming in circles off-lead. Their brain is flooded with hormones and adrenaline. They are bouncing off everyone, they have zero concept of personal space, and they think everyone wants a hug. The Risk: They don't realise that not everyone wants to dance with them. They can easily overwhelm the shy ones. The Fix: You need to be the DJ. If the BPM gets too high, call them away for a "water break" (a scatter feed or a calm moment) to bring the arousal down.

I'm a Raver Baby!

2. The "Here We Go" Chanter (The Barker)

The Vibe: The guy screaming the lyrics at the top of his voice. The Dog Behaviour: This dog enters the car park barking, spinning, and riling everyone else up before they've even got their lead off. The Risk: Arousal is contagious. One dog barking often triggers the whole group. The Fix: Distance is your friend. Don't walk right into the middle of the mosh pit. Walk on the edges until they calm down.

Scream if you want to go faster.

3. The Old Skool Raver (The Adult Dog)

The Vibe: Seen it all before. Standing at the back, bobbing their head. The Dog Behaviour: These dogs tolerate the chaotic puppies for a bit, maybe give them a look that says "Calm down, son," and then go back to sniffing. The Fix: Respect their seniority. If your puppy is harassing an older dog, intervene. The veteran shouldn't have to tell them off; that's your job.

Back in my day.

4. The "Don't Make Eye Contact" Guy (The Sniffer)

The Vibe: "If I stare at the floor, maybe that intense guy won't talk to me." The Dog Behaviour: This is the dog who suddenly becomes obsessed with sniffing a patch of grass when another dog approaches. The Science: This is often a displacement behaviour. They aren't just smelling the grass; they are politely saying: "I am looking over here so I don't have to look at you. Please give me space." The Fix: Don't force them to play! If they are "reading the flyer" (sniffing), let them. They are self-regulating.

5. The Bouncer (The Fun Police)

The Vibe: Arms folded, watching everyone else having fun, waiting to shut it down. The Dog Behaviour: Often a Herding breed (Collie/Shepherd). They bark when other dogs play too rough, chase the runners, and try to referee the wrestling matches. The Fix: Nobody likes the Fun Police. If your dog is the Bouncer, put them on a lead or move away before they start throwing people out.

If your names not down, your not getting in!

The Golden Rule: Be the "Taxi of Mum & Dad"

We’ve all been there (or we’ve been the parent on the other end of the line). The phone rings at 3 AM. The rave was great, but now it’s chaotic, it’s cold, or someone has gone a bit overboard. The plea is simple: "Can you come and get me?"

Your job as a dog owner isn't just to walk them. Your job is to be the parent who knows when it's time to collect them.

• For the "Happy Hardcore" Adolescent: They don't know when to stop. They will keep dancing until they collapse or get into a fight. You need to be the parent who steps in, puts the lead on, and says, "Right, you’ve had enough. Get in the car."

• For the "Wallflower": They are overwhelmed and standing by the door. They are silently texting you saying "I want to go home." You need to be the parent who sees that, rescues them from the situation, and takes them somewhere safe and quiet.

  
  

Don't wait for the club to close (or the fight to start). Watch your dog. If they look like they’ve had too much "sugar" or they look like they want to leave, be the Taxi of Mum & Dad. Step in, advocate for them, and take them home.